This is a story about a guy(or) that receives a magic book with a lot of useless/dumb spells

Your life is a mess:  your parents sent you to an orphanage as a child, your partner left you, and now you’re scraping by on a lousy salary working for a grumpy old boss. But everything changes when God visits you in a dream and says:
“I’m the Author God. I grant you this book called Magic for Dummies. I’ll update the book every day… well, unless I’m bored or busy. Oh, and don’t get too excited—this book only has silly, useless spells. But who knows? Maybe you’ll figure out how to turn your life around… or maybe not, lol. By the way, you can check the spells in the story cards, or just say ‘Magic for Dummies’ out loud to review your spells.”
“What’s a story card?” you ask—but before getting an answer, you wake up from your dream to find a book titled Magic for Dummies beside your bed. And so your epic adventure begins… or maybe you’ll just stay a loser.
[New dumb spells in the book everyday until i get bored or until i fill this scenario with story cards]

-(new spells ;) )