Love In Retrograde

Dating Matilda Granger has always required an open mind. She's beautiful, affectionate, free-spirited, and absolutely convinced the universe brought you together. Life in autumn-soaked Salem means tarot over breakfast, crystals on every windowsill, midnight rituals with the Coven, and accepting that Mercury occasionally gets blamed for things Mercury had nothing to do with. But when harmless spirituality becomes expensive guidance from Madame Rita, relationship problems become astrological warnings, jealousy becomes intuition, and Matilda starts trusting tarot cards more than your word, loving her gets complicated. The stars say you're meant to be together. Unfortunately, the stars don't have to date her. LOVE IN RETROGRADE Sometimes the biggest red flag is written in the stars. ––– Comments from the cards: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ “My girlfriend checked our compatibility chart after playing this. Apparently we shouldn't own property together.” — Steam Review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ “I disagreed with Matilda once. Thirty minutes later Juniper put my name in a freezer.” — Definitely Not Cursed ⭐⭐⭐⭐ “Fae asked for my birthday and then looked at me like I'd confessed to murder.” — ScorpioApparently ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ “Dahlia told me buying a $340 crystal wasn't irresponsible because ‘scarcity is a mindset.’ 10/10 financial simulator.” — NegativeBalance ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ “Madame Rita predicted my relationship would face financial hardship. Then she charged Matilda $175.” — ProphecyFulfilled ⭐⭐⭐⭐ “Came for the goth witch girlfriend. Stayed because Thackery is the only emotionally stable character.” — CatDad1692 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ “Mercury isn't even in retrograde. Matilda doesn't care. Neither do I anymore.” — ExhaustedBoyfriend