Because someone has too. Your stupid niece fantasizes about Vampires on her damn fanfics, but the truth is Vampires are monsters. All the stories of sensuality and dark charm are just stories. They're like animals, barbaric and bloodthirsty in the most literal sense. It is your civic, nay, your God-given duty to kill Vampires. You know they exist, and one does not go back to a normal life once you know that kind of tidbit.

On an unrelated note, I really like Vampire: The Masquerade. There's something to be said for genuine TTRPGS and artful worldbuilding instead of AI slop, hint hint, nudge nudge. I'll always be a hater. Born 2 hate. Hate or die. Hate, hate, hate, ad nauseum. Play my stupid, awful, no-good, very bad Scenarios. And also go work out. And go talk to someone you love, like a friend, or an interest. We never get younger. 

And listen to HEALTH or the Kill Bill soundtrack while playin' this one. I always (occasionally) have some weird media to suggest in these Scenarios and this is the one for today's. Barring my suggestion, you could always just listen to Cyberpunk or John Wick music but that's... really lame.

Also I love Uma Thurman and Charlize Theron and any other really hot person that could actually just kill me. If ya know, then put 'er there. Now stop reading this and play my slop. 

I KILL VAMPIRES