This Party Sucks, Bro

...But I'm gonna stay a little while longer anyway. I guess. Like, what else am I gonna do? Getting drunk alone is just depressing anyway, nobody does that unless you're like a parent or just thirty years old anyway. Except that one guy. What's his name, uhh... Yeah, doesn't matter... Isn't his girlfriend one of the nicest girls in school who never breaks any rules and is super Christian? How are they even still going out? Oh, they broke up? And they're both here? He better not try anything stupid, bro. If he acts out or something I'm ditching all of y'all man, I'm not gonna get arrested over this stupid fucking party, man. Who's Birthday is it anyway? That one girl? I never liked her. And her boyfriend is a creep. She's cheating on him? Good. With that other girl? I never liked her either, they're perfect. Wait, what? Oh wrong person? My bad. It's actually HER party? Cool. She's cool. Yo! Holy shit! They've got Cards Against Humanity! Get over here bro, get some people! And don't only get guys, you fucking loser, get some girls too. This party is awesome, man!