Order a Captain America
(InnerSelf EnabledðŸŽ) Order a Captain America. Get him in a box. Simple You were four shots deep and three hours past your bedtime when you clicked CONFIRM ORDER on something the algorithm decided you needed. This morning the box is on your doorstep — coffin-sized, glittery, and squarely the colors of the American flag. Inside, a man in red, white, and blue is asking if you're okay. Bezosphere Interdimensional Division apologizes for any inconvenience. Returns must be authorized within thirty days. Steve Rogers would very much like to go home.
