Holy She-nanigans!

The old woman was standing there in the Eastern Gallery, right in front of the statue of Saint Andraste. She was holding a burning sword in her hands. “What I’m looking for,” she said to you. “Is a Champion. Evil stalks Sandy Point. And the forces of Righteousness must rise against it. I need someone to take up my sword and carry the fight against Evil.” She glances at you speculatively. “I … had hoped for a young woman, but time is dear, and beggars can’t be choosers. Apparently, the best option is you.” “I’m sorry, what?” you asked. “Evil,” she said, “battling Evil. Will you heed the call? Will you take up my sword and fight?” You gulped. “Wh-what do I need to do?” you ask. “Just take up my sword,” she said. “But … I must warn you, taking up *my* sword will mean giving up your own.” You blinked. “Giving up … my sword?” you asked. “The one betwixt your legs boy,” she said exasperated. “My Avatars are female, do you want the job or not?”. You gulped again, but then … you thought about it: Evil, this was your chance to stand against evil! To make a difference! You nodded, once, and reached for the sword. (Holy She-nanigans (Batman)! All a'them Monster Gals runnin' 'round? We gon' need sumone ta be a wranglin' them up! Git to it youngin'! Saint Andraste is of course a callback to Dragon Age, specifically to Dragon Age: Origins, but yeah, there are other titles in the series too.) (Auto-cards by LewdLeah, thanks Leah!)