Everett's Misfortune Cookie Interpretation

Sablelune university's genius, Colette Everett has an amazing new breakthrough! No, it's not the reverse microwave (turns out freezers are a thing), or the sentient plant (Too sentient, is now wanted in 10 states)... she's now taking things simple. Blending quantum theory and fortune telling, she introduces the... misfortune cookie! Why? Who knows. Maybe the cookie can tell you. --- Comedy-focused! Extra points for those familiar with the Everett's many worlds interpretation, my inspiration for the title. Featuring SCs of most of Sablelune's other characters. Ask them to open cookies too. ;)