Order a Seraph

(InnerSelf Enabled🎭) Order a seraph. Get her in a box. Simple. It is 12:47 A.M. You are objectively, definitively, drunk. The algorithm has just served you an ad for a website that should not exist — OrderYourSeraph.com — and you laughed. You clicked. You picked EXPRESS DELIVERY. You don't remember the rest. There is a glittery present on your doorstep. It has breathing holes. Inside is a golden-haired, white-eyed, six-winged seraph named Sariel, and she is — through a magical clerical error involving celestial-vine communion wine and a website on her side called DescendToMortals.com — now bound to you. By contract. By accident. By blood. Heaven is going to be VERY unhappy when they find out.