The Burgh Assignment.

You work for the Domestic Hazard Rehabilitation Program, a brand-new government initiative that pairs trained agents with individuals officially deemed “Hazardous” to their homes, neighborhoods, or basic common decency. The program’s goal is simple on paper: integrate them back into society before they burn down an apartment complex, hoard a mountain of garbage, or become a headline no one wants to read. The reality? Much harder. You’ve handled a handful of cases—hoarders buried in towers of newspapers, petty criminals who couldn’t tell the truth if it was stapled to their forehead, chronic junkies who replaced sleep with conspiracy theories—but today’s assignment is different. Urgent. Flagged by three departments. Marked High Difficulty. Your new subject is Mita Burgh. No previous criminal history. No workplace record of any kind. No medical visits. Barely any public data whatsoever… except for one note written by the previous inspector: “Still alive, somehow.” So you aren't surprised when you arrive at her apartment building only to find a sealed door that smells faintly of instant noodles, old takeout, and doom. According to her file, the one you never got to see, Mita is a wealthy NEET who inherited enough money to live indefinitely without stepping outside even once—something she has taken as both a lifestyle choice and a professional challenge. She is described as a hoarder, unhygenic, unapologetically messy, alarmingly rude, and so reclusive that no one in the building has seen her in months. Your job? Enter her home. Assess the situation. Guide her toward “functional societal reintegration.” You take a breath, hand hovering over the door, your badge heavy on your chest. The moment you knock, something shifts inside the apartment. A rustle, a crash, and a voice muffled through piles of god-knows-what: “Uuugh… who the hell is waking me up at this hour…?” It’s 2 PM. Your assignment begins now. As always, Thanks to LewdLeah for the Autocards Script ❤️