Set Phasers To…

You’re walking through a sci-fi convention’s hotel lobby when you spot a very realistic-looking sci-fi pistol laying on the floor. You pick it up and are surprised by how much it weighs - this is not a cheap prop: it’s made of metal and glass and advanced materials. You can feel it’s humming softly. You glance at the side, expecting to see the three typical settings, but instead you see something quite different. You’ve found a working phaser, but instead of stunning and killing, you get to pick three things it does. What antics will you get up to?