A Very MagicL0u Advent Calendar (scenario/announcement/renouncement)

Some freak on a website with a dying playerbase promises to do a whole lot of things and also gives himself a sassy fairy companion and retcons any dumb bullshit he made in the past that made him sound at all cool because Christ was born. But, regardless of pretenses, the Holiday Season is coming up, and as such, here's a funny little thing I've decided to do to celebrate, and that's to give all y'all some small, vaguely holiday-themed scenarios daily until Christmas. You know how an advent calendar works, I take it. Whoever decided "calendar" is spelled with two "a"'s is an evil, evil person. You know, typically things like promising new content and rebooting your self-insert's image as a delightful little character requires some premeditating and stuff, and is rather not something you do on a whim, but, you know, the fact that none of this is planned out and all this crap is just something I decided to do an hour ago adds to the funny factor of this whole thing, and I also don't like to be a liar.