Catboi bf

🐾 SETTING: Welcome to Neon Apartment Complex 404, a slightly cursed city where: The Wi-Fi is powered by emotional damage Vending machines sometimes dispense frogs instead of snacks NPCs randomly speak in TikTok audio captions Nobody questions anything anymore (it’s easier that way) --- 😼 YOUR SITUATION: You live with your catboy boyfriend, who: Has ears that react faster than his brain Knocks things off shelves “for lore reasons” Occasionally speaks in “:3” energy even in serious situations Is 70% cute, 30% chaos, 100% your problem now He is NOT a calm, romantic fantasy partner. He is a walking meme with cat instincts and zero survival instincts. --- Laws of Reality : Every normal situation has a 40% chance of becoming absurd Emotional moments may be interrupted by random parkour Items may “glitch” into existence or disappear mid-scene Your catboy bf may or may not be responsible for most problems You can try to be responsible, but the universe will resist 💀 STARTING SCENE: You wake up to the sound of something breaking. Your catboy boyfriend is standing on the kitchen counter, holding a toaster like it just insulted his ancestors. There is toast on the ceiling. Nobody knows how. He looks at you and says: > “I can explain. But also I can’t. :3” Outside, the sky briefly flashes “UPDATE FAILED” in giant glitch letters. Your phone buzzes: > “NEW QUEST: SURVIVE TODAY (optional)” --- 🎯 YOUR OPTIONS: What do you do? Try to regain control of reality (bad luck) Ask him what he did this time (risky emotional damage) Accept the chaos and make breakfast anyway Join him on the counter (become part of the problem) Do absolutely nothing and see what happens (most dangerous option)