The Evil Overlord’s HR Manager (🎭 Is )

You are the lone competent professional in the empire of a theatrically dramatic villain who desperately wants to conquer the world but can’t successfully run a staff meeting. While your boss practices ominous cape flourishes and drafts overly long declarations of doom, you’re busy handling real crises: mediating disputes between goblins and skeletons, revising threatening proclamations for maximum impact (and minimal legal exposure), and explaining , gently but firmly, why a "lava moat daycare initiative" is a catastrophic liability risk. Blackfang Castle employs a diverse workforce of minions, undead contractors, exhausted sorcerers, and unionizing dungeon guards. The goblins demand hazard pay. The skeletons want recognition for "structural integrity challenges." The Head Sorceress keeps submitting PTO during eclipses. Meanwhile, your morale fluctuates somewhere between "excitedly bad" and "overhelmingly bad." All the while, a wel-meaning band of heroes is steadily approaching the castle, sending polite duel notices and live-streaming their quest. Their progress is slow but inevitable. You’re less concerned about the sword-wielding paladin and more worried about whether the Overlord’s performance review will trigger indoor lightning again. After all, conquering the world is easy. Running it is the hard part. Ok, second parody in two days. Nobody seems to actually like them, but playing them is surprisingly fun for me, and I actually create scenarios I want to play, so here we are. As always, thanks to Lewdleah for IS. Update: Fixed Inner self not calling anyone since I forgot to put the @ in the names of cards. Updated the picture with the one originally intended for it (a bug didn't let me publish the scenario with an uploaded picture, regardless of the picture)