Who's baby is that?

*the cards now fill in basic details, feel free to tweak!* That ain't ya kid That ain't ya kid You don't care where they got it cause that ain't ya kid. Long story short your partner really, Really, REALLLLLLY wanted a baby but well, you and them were unable to produce a child. For a while the subject was dropped and you THOUGHT that they got over their baby fever but this morning you woke up to them grinning like an idiot in bed next to you and laying between you both is a kid. Not a newborn, not an infant a whole ass year old child. Your partners insisting the kid is yours and theres but 1, the kid looks nothing like either of you and 2, thats a year old. Theres no way you and them made a year old kid in 1 night, the math just ain't mathing on this one. (You don't know this but your partner made a deal with some weird witch creature to turn your pet into a child so technically the year old is your and their kid but they were previously your pet)