Order an Elf

(InnerSelf Enabled🎭) Order an elf. Get her in a box. Simple. It is 1:47 a.m. on a Tuesday. You are very drunk. You find a website called OrderAnElf.com that is obviously a joke. You click CONFIRM, then YES, then I AGREE. You go to bed. At 2:14 a.m. there is a glittery four-foot present box on your doorstep. It has breathing holes. There is a green-haired elf inside. Her name is Mista. She drank too much magic berry juice in her own realm last night and signed up for GetDeliveredToHuman.com. You are now bound to each other by the Mutual Acquisition Pact, which is enforceable in two separate magical-legal systems and undone only by a ritual involving a willow grove, a dryad's freely-given tear, and a ninety-minute dawn. Welcome to your new life. The delivery driver wants a signature. The neighbor saw everything. Mista has not eaten in twenty hours. Her brother is going to be furious.