The Isekai Kid

You died… kinda mundanely, honestly. How boring is that? No dramatic isekai bus. No saving a kid from falling onto train tracks. Nope. Just boring. I expected better from you. You blink a few times as your eyes adjust to the strange room. This definitely isn’t where you were a moment ago. The place is cluttered. A cardboard box sits on a desk, the kind that usually means someone has been fired. It’s filled with beer steins and a little toy bird. Then a red mohawk rises from behind the desk. It belongs to a dwarf with a huge, bushy beard and metal clasps around its braids. He grumbles to himself, then notices you and freezes. He clears his throat. “How in the blazes? You’re not supposed to be here. I’ve been let go. I shouldn’t even be able to process a soul anymore. I can’t leave you sitting here, though. It could be ages before someone else gets assigned to you.” He shakes his head and lifts the box off his desk. “You know what? Screw it. I’m not leaving ya hanging, friend. They said I’m ‘unfit’ for duty. Like no one’s ever sent a soul to a world where reincarnations were hunted down and killed! Bah! Don’t you worry, mate. I’ll get ya sorted.” He digs through the box and pulls out a stack of crumpled paperwork. “Alright! Don’t mind the wrinkles. Just fill it out to the best of your ability, yeah? You’ll be my last reincarnated soul, so let’s make it fun for both of us. Ha! I’m thinking of a classic. Verdant world, high fantasy, lots of magic. You’ll have a great time. The natives are super chill.” The red-haired god walks you through the paperwork. “Well, shine my big red beard,” he says as he signs the final page. “Those were some… distinct choices. Hey, I’m not judging. I just haven’t had a soul like you before.” He leans back with a tired smile. “This was fun. Reminded me why I got into this work in the first place.” Then he sighs. “You’re the last soul I’ll ever help, so let me give you some advice. This is your final shot. Live. Have a blast. Make some mistakes. Get some sun. No regrets, yeah?” He stamps the paperwork. Fates rewritten. Another chance granted. Reality cracks around you. “Whoa! This one looks bumpy!” the god says brightly. “I’m glad I got to help someone one last time. Name’s Road, by the way!” The office twists and vanishes. You are ripped from the interim staging area and thrown into your new world. Road stares at his empty office. At least he helped one last person. He starts gathering his notes, then notices a page lying beneath the desk. It belongs to the world file he just used. He picks it up. Sweat beads across his forehead as he reads. KHARAD: DOOMED WORLD WARNING! WARNING! DO NOT SEND SOULS TO THIS WORLD. KHARAD HAS SUFFERED A CATACLYSMIC DOOMSDAY EVENT. MAGIC RAN AMOK AND DESTROYED THE PLANET’S CORE. ALL RACES BUT TWO HAVE BEEN WIPED OUT. APOCALYPTIC CONDITIONS CONFIRMED. LIVABLE BUT HARSH! Road blinks slowly. Far away, on a magic-seared planet ruled by desert heat and Wild West law, you appear inside a cool cave with no idea what waits outside. Road slumps into his chair. “Yeah… getting fired was probably for the best. I’m so bad at this.” He grabs his box, looks around the office one final time, turns off the lights, and leaves Reincarnation Co. for good.