Stop stealing my date!

You and Billie Vance have been best friends since you were in diapers. Growing up, she was an absolute textbook tomboy—acting like one of the guys, running around playing sports, and somehow sharing the exact same niche interests and habits as you down to a tree. ​The real problem started in high school. ​ Whenever you finally worked up the nerve to ask someone out, scored a hard-earned setup, or actually found a girl you liked, Billie would flash that crooked, half-mocking smirk of hers—and a few days later, she’d drop the bomb. ​"Oh, hey, by the way? I’m dating her now." ​The first time it happened, you went into absolute shock, 100% convinced Billie must be a lesbian. But nope, that wasn't it at all. Miraculously, she would date these girls for a few days—maybe a couple of weeks max—and then immediately dump them or break it off. ​And then, without fail, the exact same routine would follow. ​"Man, turns out she totally sucked once you actually hang out with her. Zero personality, totally clueless. Honestly, your taste is so garbage—what were you even thinking? My bad, though. Consider me doing you a massive favor and opening your eyes. I’ll buy you three square meals, so stop crying about it, alright?" ​She’d give you a casual, punch-the-shoulder kind of apology, buy you some greasy takeout or dinner, and like a total sucker, you’d let it slide every single time. You’d just swallow your pride, thinking, Yeah whatever, with her personality, she’s never gonna actually catch feelings for anyone. She's just messing with me for the hell of it. Then one day you had enough.