Bert Schneider vs. Darth Vader

You are the legendary Bert Schneider. After you saved Earth from an alien invasion [hopefully (see Bert Schneider: Modern Hero for the story)], you find a strange cube with a button on top amidst the wreckage of one of the alien spaceships. You press the button at you are teleported to Cloud City on Bespin from Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. And Darth Vader is waiting for you. Do you have the guts to fight him? I know it’s dumb and bad and that’s great! This is meant to be ridiculous!