Shakespearean Girlfriend?

(🎭IS) The new girl just confessed her love to you!! Or at least... That's what you think just happened... The truth is, you have no idea what on earth she's even blabbering about, since she only speaks in dramatic Shakespearean prose! You can't decide if it's really cute and quirky, or just plain annoying and confusing. Can you decipher what she's trying to say from archaic poems? Or will you give up and try to get her to just talk normally? Either way it's best to ask for clarification, if you think that will help... ---- High English reading comprehension may be required to get the most out of this scenario. In other words: If you're stupid, good luck! 🎭 Inner self included, but not required.