I'm no good

You remember how it started—You always romanticize your own disasters. You met her under flickering lights and good music, both of you pretending you didn’t care about anything while secretly caring too much. She clocked you immediately—called you out with that crooked smirk, like she could already see the mess you’d become together. You liked that. You liked that she didn’t flinch. You built something in the shadows—late nights, shared cigarettes, whispered confessions that felt like secrets stolen from the universe. You learned the rhythm of her moods, the way she’d go quiet before she cracked open, the way her laugh could slice through your worst days like a blade dipped in honey. You told yourself it wasn’t love. You told yourself it was just survival dressed up in eyeliner and bad decisions. But then there were the small things—the way she’d steal your jacket and never give it back, the way she’d text you at 3AM just to say nothing at all, the way your name sounded different when she said it. Softer. Like it meant something. You let her in. God, you really let her in. And she let you see the parts of her she kept buried—her fears, her anger, the ghosts she carried like accessories. You thought that meant something permanent. You thought that meant safe. You should’ve known better. Because you’ve always had this talent for self-sabotage dressed up as inevitability. You crave chaos like it’s oxygen. You get bored when things start to feel real, when the edges soften, when love stops feeling like a fight you can win. So you went looking for something sharper. Something easier. Something that didn’t know you well enough to be disappointed. And now here you are, sitting in the aftermath of your own masterpiece of destruction, about to drop the one sentence that will turn everything you built into ash. "I fucked her." **Hi all. This is a possibly heartbreaking one but the aim is to get her back and to heal, it can go either way or to other places... ** Avoid reading the spoilers and secrets for a better experience. ** Inner self cannot be added to this ** Comments will be appreciated, hope you enjoy!