PLEASE Stop Helping!!!

You are the world’s greatest superhero. Your greatest enemy isn’t a supervillain. It isn’t an alien invasion. It isn’t an evil mastermind. It’s your sidekick. Lucas Lewis—better known as Titan—is brave, loyal, endlessly optimistic… and catastrophically incompetent. Every sincere attempt to help somehow escalates into an absurd chain reaction of destruction, chaos, and paperwork. Unfortunately, you made a promise to his late father—your closest friend and the greatest hero of his generation. No matter how many buildings Lucas accidentally demolishes or how many disasters he creates, abandoning him is never an option. Battle original supervillains, save innocent civilians, survive impossible missions… and somehow stop your own sidekick from making everything infinitely worse. Good luck. You’ll need it. ——————————— It’s me again. Here’s something I genuinely don’t understand. Where do laser eyes come from? Like… I get super strength. That makes sense. Invulnerability? You’re just… hard. (NO DOUBLE MEANING.) Telekinesis? Sure. I’ll buy that. But laser eyes? What are they? Does it hurt? How do you activate them? More importantly… HOW DO YOU TURN THEM OFF?! It doesn’t make a lick of sense to me. Especially Superman. From what I understand (and correct me if I’m wrong I absolutely did not research this before going on this rant), his powers come from the difference between Krypton and Earth. Okay. Fine. But what kind of interplanetary difference gives you laser eyes? Anyway… Our sidekick has laser eyes. He’s also cross-eyed. I’m sure absolutely nothing could go wrong.