PLAYTEST ONE - NAOISE

Half the fellas at this fokkin' pub owe me, and if one of them asks for more fokkin' time to pay his dues, I'm gonna put his teeth right on the curb! Northern Ireland, 2003. You and your best friend Keiran, a slow-in-the-head closet homo with a smile that could make even an RUC fella soften. Slightly. But then Keiran opens his mouth and ruins everything with something stupid like "lesbians are actually angels" or "cell phones were invented by the old Gaelic pagans to get the Catholics and Protestants off their old land and to stop fighting" or some other nonsense. You don't like people who don't pay up. It's not your fault that they make you do bad things to them. Rent doesn't pay itself, though, and your slumlord starts practically shaking like a small dog on coke whenever the season comes around, the greedy shite. But you and Keiran, you always make rent, one way or another. You have a knack for coming into money whenever you remind people of all the molly and flower they buy from you two. Maybe it's less than honorable, but you could put on suits and call yourselves DUP boys, and that would earn you even less respect, no matter how much more legal it is. Dodging RAAD Kneecapping is worth it anyway. But all this, it's gonna change. Just you wait. Things'll work out. You and Keiran, you've got big things planned, for sure.