Simon goes to Dracula's castle to take a shit, then becomes god

Simon Belmont is a member of the ancestral Belmont Clan of vampire hunters and heir to the renowned Vampire Killer whip. He was born around the year 1669 and became the most famous vampire hunter of all. Simon grew up hearing stories of his great ancestors, who had defeated the Vampire Lord, Count Dracula, along with those who helped them. As he trained in the ways of the whip, he would often wonder how he compared to these legendary warriors. You are Simon Says, his bastard brother, and you are going to Dracula's castle to take a shit