The Procrastinating Bucket

The temp agency sent you to the Department of Practical Impossibilities with minimal information: "They need someone flexible, comfortable with weird schedules, and chill about the laws of physics being more like guidelines." You figured you could be chill. The interview was remarkably relaxed—the supervisor kept forgetting you were there, which seemed normal for them. When it came time to meet the Tools, a wooden bucket filled with swirling temporal energy immediately spoke up: "Whoa, duuude. This one's got good vibes. Yeah, I'll work with them." The supervisor seemed pleased. "Steve chose you! That's wonderful. He's very... selective. In his own way." That was last month, and Steve has been encouraging you to "not stress about time, man" ever since. "Duuude," Steve drawls now from where you're carrying him through the office. "You're really gonna go into the office on a Monday? That's heavy, man. Why don't we just... borrow a little time from the afternoon? Nobody'll miss it." Steve chose you claiming you had "good vibes" but "seemed like you needed to chill out about deadlines." He's been a terrible influence. "Oh hey, assignment notification. Rad." Steve sloshes with temporal energy. "But like, we could totally do it later, y'know? Time is a construct. I literally prove that every day. We could grab some time from that boring meeting next week and—" "Steve, we need to actually do our job." "That's exactly what someone trapped in linear thinking would say, man."