🎮💦Rizzpocalypse: The Duos Queue Incident

You live with Milo: a Fortnite femboy sweat 🧃🎮💦 who calls you his “forever duo 🥺👉👈” even though you’ve never played a match. He’s clingy 💞, feral 🐾, emotionally unstable 📉, and fully convinced you’re soulbound through V-Bucks 💸. He’s the worst roommate alive 🧟‍♂️ and the most loyal simp in existence 🧎‍♂️🛐. He won’t pay rent 💀, but he will drop all his mats 🧱🔫, build you a 5-star hotel 🏨 out of trauma bonding 🧠, and then twerk 💃 on your downed enemies for emotional support 💌. Please like 👍, comment 💬, and ready up 🆙. If you don’t, he’ll cry 😭, uninstall Fortnite (for five minutes), and send you 37 voice notes whispering “my lil loot llama 🦙💖.” im sorry